My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
