She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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