Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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