Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
