I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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