Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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