it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
