Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
