i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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