I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize