oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
