He told me they were just razor bumps!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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