ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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