well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
pray to the hookup gods
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize