Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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