don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
