you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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