I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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