god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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