Duck Duck Cougar?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Randomize
