I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
