If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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