Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm at about main and main street
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
