I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
