Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize