3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
