Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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