i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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