Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I understand Curling. That high.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
