Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
