so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Every concussion has its silver lining
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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