Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
