is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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