is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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