Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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