..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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