At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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