So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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