You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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