I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
