just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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