I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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