Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
