Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize