Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i think i just lost a toe
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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