My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
