no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
