my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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