Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
