Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
