By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
