You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
