i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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