I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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