Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
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i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
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Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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