He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
