I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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