Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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