he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
